Friday, August 11, 2006

I have fought the Evil One

For yay! Into the desert and wastland did I go and sorely did the dark lord try to tempt me, but stoutly did I fight unto him! His minions did he send, but them I did repel. "Out! Out! Out!" criethed I, beating upon them with a stick and casting upon them my faithful dog. No food did I take for 10 days in homage to the great Christian St Antony and hard was my suffering, but return do I more convinced than ever of that power which is our Lord God and the Truth of everything He telleth in His book which is the Bible. And hateth he lust and women and the sin of sodomising men. The male member is an affront unto Him and I think of it not any longer!

God! God! God is love!


Thank you for sending unto us your son Jesus.

I shall smite for you! Your enemies will quaketh before my powerful weapons! behold Democ-rats for Lo! Your time is numbered and when those days are up and Our Lord God who is Jesus, His one and only son returns, sore will you be wroth for what you have reapeth!

Thank you Lord.

I bow before you!

And all men who do not will be as like wheat beneath the combine harvester!

Amen.




P.S. For you liberal sinners who doubteth me, can ye deny the photographic evidence I do present? Look at this Devil Imp servant of the dark lord. And how it smoketh upon drugs even as it eyes me and tries to lead me from the path of righteousness.




Get Thee Behind Me Satan!

14 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

That´s just an ordinary goat, you whacko. And it´s chewing on a stick, as goats are vegetarians.

6:18 pm  
Blogger Samuel Luke Johnston said...

Nonsense! I know what I saw! And how many talking goats have you met? He even had a cloven hoof!

Plus, vegetarians don't eat sticks. They eat disgusting soya products. I met one once at a yard party. He was English. Disgusting!

1:35 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OK, vegetarian was perhaps the wrong word. But it is fact that goats eat plants (and that´s including sticks).
And about it talking, are you sure that no one played a trick on you? Are you sure you were not drunk? Haven´t taken any drugs? Or were you perhaps just dreaming? What did it say to you?
And about vegetarians: I´m not one myself but I don´t find them disgusting either. What I find disgusting are nonsense bible thumpers like you.
Still the photo looks just like an ordinary goat and I will take it for one as long as you don´t prove something different.

11:41 am  
Blogger Samuel Luke Johnston said...

I will reveal its words in the fullness of time. Along with many other things I learned on my sojourn. Pretty incredible revelations, I met with. About hell and things like that...

How many ordinary goats have you seen smoking drug cigarettes? And as for your accusation that I was on drugs, that's just crazy. I'm a Christian Republican and we don't do that kind of thing. What's more, I hadn't even eaten anything for five days in homage to St Antony. Gosh you liberals are rude.

4:45 pm  
Blogger 8for8 said...

You used to be on the subject of God when you started this blog. I loved it when you shot against those porn sickos. But now you have fallen in the hands of wreck-publicans. It doen't matter if you were Republican before. Those kind of people are there to decieve. For that a true Christian never wishes to bring on bloodshed. Your not sure if they are real, are you? My point is that instead of being against radicals, you are joining them.

8:54 pm  
Blogger Samuel Luke Johnston said...

8for8,

I know who you work for - and it sure isn't Our Lord Jesus, if you catch what I'm saying.

Don't try to confuse me with confusing words. I'm not a radical. I'm a conservative christian! What's all this talk of bloodshed? I only want to kill sinners, just like OUr Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

9:24 am  
Blogger 8for8 said...

I'm not trying to confuse. I'm just saying you are falling down to their (sinners) level by wanting to kill them.

6:41 pm  
Blogger Samuel Luke Johnston said...

"I come with a Sword", saithed the Lord

9:35 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Samuel said:
How many ordinary goats have you seen smoking drug cigarettes? And as for your accusation that I was on drugs, that's just crazy. I'm a Christian Republican and we don't do that kind of thing. What's more, I hadn't even eaten anything for five days in homage to St Antony. Gosh you liberals are rude.

For god´s sake, that is no joint, it´s a ordinary stick! And that goat is not smoking it, it´s eating it. (Remember? Goats are plant-eaters!) Sure you didn´t drink too much? If the answer is yes, please get a therapy, you need it.
Oh, wait, you haven´t eaten anything in five days? Doing something like that can cause hallucinations, don´t you know?

I only want to kill sinners, just like OUr Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Yeah, Jesus wanted to kill sinners that desperately, that he even refused to do them any harm when they were about to execute him! Sounds really logical to me!
Don´t take me wrong: God can be angry and violent to sinners sometimes, but Jesus never was!

9:40 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Samuel, you are dangerous to America. I know God will send you to hell! You can complain all you want, but it will happen.

9:41 pm  
Blogger Samuel Luke Johnston said...

So, I go away for several weeks upon God's work. I come back and this is the kind of abuse I meet with. Hell is not hot enough for you!!! (actually, now I think about it, it probably is. You won't like it there!)

8:26 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So, I go away for several weeks upon God's work. I come back and this is the kind of abuse I meet with. Hell is not hot enough for you!!! (actually, now I think about it, it probably is. You won't like it there!)

Well, Sam, could you please answer my questions? Or do you want to kill our little argument by using god as an ultimate argument killer like you do at STR.com? If it´s the latter case, I will take it as a victory over you, so think about it!

PS: Hell hasn´t to be hot, it´s just imagined as a unpleasant place. (Could be contrary really cold in there.)

10:25 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good grief.

Sam, you HAVE to be a joke. Nobody on life could be THIS closed-minded, could they? Oh, and about your archaic speech - it REALLY needs work, i can produce better sentences than you without breaking asweat

2:15 pm  
Blogger Samuel Luke Johnston said...

Produce one then, oh anonymous. You haven't written any better so far!

3:19 pm  

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