Call to prayer
Please pray for my car! Today I need help from my fellow Christians!
Ultra-leftist sabs (when I find out who you are liberals you will have a short and painful meeting with the end of a bullet!) have destroyed my car!
Working in night time and in silence they have contrived to alter the perfect American engineering of my engine, cracking open the gear box and causing the gear oil to spill in great rivers upon the ground.
Normally I would be confident that fine American engineering can fix it, but I fear perhaps these terrorists have gone too far! The mechanic did look gravely upon it, sore vexed and shake his head. I fear it will cost too much for it to be worth fixing and must be dumped in the sea.
ONLY YOUR PRAYERS CAN STOP IT HAPPENING!!!!!
Please mention my motor in your prayers this evening.
Your servant Sam Johnston needs his gears fixed. Please see to it that in the morning when he returns to see your fine American engineer it starts straight away, the transmission is as smooth as an ice sundae and the bill is kept low so he can keep on investing his money into the world's greatest economy, thus helping our troops do Your work in Iraq.
Thank you LORD.
HALLOWED, HALLOWED BE THY NAME.
P.S. Please kill Michael Moore too."